“To friend or unfriend; that is the question.”

“A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.”
~ Donna Roberts

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.”
~ Aristotle

“A friend is a gift you give yourself.”
~ Robert Louis Stevenson

“Social networking” is a self-explanatory term. Picture a spider web and the myriad connections; then imagine your network of friends that has resulted from simply being in close relationship with others as we go through life. For many, there are hundreds of connections. This fact begs the question, “How do we maintain quality relationships with so many people?”

For most people this is impossible, but the trend is to add more and more friends to our Facebook and MySpace accounts . . . hundreds and even thousands, in some cases.

It is most interesting, therefore, that the New Oxford American Dictionary has chosen unfriend as its 2009 Word of the Year. If you unfriend someone, you remove them from your friend list on your social network. This is a rather easy step, but the consequences can be long-lasting. No one wants to be unfriended, for this means that we are being cut off and that, for whatever reasons, we are not valued enough to remain connected.

Each year as I review our list of family members and friends with whom Bonnie and I wish to stay connected, we ultimately must remove some names due to death. We also have taken people off of our mailing list because they have moved and left no forwarding address. Did they do so on purpose? Did they want out? Probably not.

We always seem to add more people to this list each year. In retirement we are resorting to corresponding via email with as many people possible in order to maintain our sanity in light of annual postage increases. Please feel free to do so with us; hearing from you is what matters, even if it is by email.

To hear from someone else, whether family member or friend, is to feel included. It means that we matter, at least in some small way, and that what we offer is important enough for you to take the time to contact us. We always enjoy hearing from you. We care about you and the ups and downs of your lives, even as we suspect that you care about us in the same way.

A genuine friend (is there any other kind?) will never consider “unfriending” those who really matter and who are loved for who they are and not what they are. A friend will celebrate with you and laugh with joy when you are on top of things. A friend will also always be available to listen and to care when life’s experiences are not what were expected, and which carry with them the potential to crush and rob you of joy. To all who are reading this, thanks for choosing to be connected with us. We are grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!